Author: Jessica C Cooper

It rained the coldest rain that evening, colder then I could ever remember as it poured on my head and shoulders soaking my hair and skin. I stood there staring at a solid white casket trimmed in gold as leaves from the trees fell quietly onto the ground around my feet. As the preacher stood at nick’s momma’s side, barely able to say a few words I could only think of how great Nick’s smile was...how his hair smelled like cotton candy and cologne as it fell loosely around his ears. Nick was the love of my life the best I ever had and he was stolen from me. Only a few hours after Nicks sixteenth birthday he took out the brand new motorcycle his dad just got him and the roads were to wet for him to take a curve so sharp. Nicks dad told me that as Nick began to get onto his bike against his wishes all nick said was “ Dad I am going to see the love of my life ill be home soon” then he drove away. But he never made it to see me he died there alone, in the rain on highway 49. I was only three miles away but it could have been a thousand. Mr. Covington hasn’t recovered from loosing Nick this far and I doubt he ever will. He blames himself for Nick’s death and in a way, I blame myself too. If he hadn’t wanted to come to my house so badly then maybe he would still be waiting for me on Friday nights late outside my window. Or after school standing at my car smiling so sweet. And the thousand of other places that I can still see him at like a memory of what was and can never be again. We were together for almost a year and I hoped for many more. I called Nicks name as if he could still hear my cries like so many nights before. “Nick” I mumbled, “I am loosing my mind. “Here I am sitting on a poorly covered mound of dirt that will soon be covering the beautiful casket your mom picked out for you. Nick, it’s killing me to let you go….its not fair. Ill always love you and ill never forget you. You will always be my angel. And as long as I live I wont love anyone more then I love you.“ Then I covered my eyes and whispered “it’s just not fair even with all the hatred in the world nick, being love himself, is now gone.” I then gently wrote in my tear soaked diary Nick is the only love I have ever known and he has been killed. I will soon have to face burying him only three short days after I have lost him. I sat starring at his casket till the night had began to get late and Brady who has always been my faithful best friend forced me to leave Nick behind all I wanted was to be near nick. I think the hardest thing I had ever done was walk away and on occasion look back to see Nicks casket fading behind me more and more. I could barely see four or five men holding shovels trying to stand out of sight as I walked away and I knew they were just waiting on me to walk away, and it about killed me.. I would have gladly taken his place if I had known my heart would be ripping from my chest because I lost him and now all I want is...to die with him.